It Happens....

We tend to say things like "Oh that'll never happen to me", or "Stuff like that rarely happens". There are many surprises that we come across as we move forward in life. Ones that are expected and ones that aren't. Everyone can have this image that their meant to live up to. And one day that image changes, and everything you've worked for just blows up. You get all upset, and depressed. It happens.
We all want to live the perfect life. We all want our children to be happy. Or if you're a child, you want to be able to live the best childhood. Rarely do we ever live up to our perfect fantasies. It just happens.
We tend to think to much on how and what went wrong. We can never just accept that it happens because it happens, or because it happens for a reason. Some of us move on, and adjust to the changes. But there are some who end up falling into a trance of depression that we just can't get out of.
Shit happens, wether we like it or not. We can't change the past, present, or whats meant to be our future. We're not meant to. This is how I think of the situation. Yeah a lot of bad stuff has happened to me. I'm 16 and I've had to mature and grow up so much more faster than I would have liked to. I've suffered debt, and moving around, and failing in school. I've lost friends, and family, to both death, and differences. And a lot more. I do get depressed when something bad happens...I'd be lying to myself if I didn't. But I also learned that everything happens for a reason. I honestly don't know what that reason is. I can only hope it's to make myself stronger for my future. Everytime something unexpected happens for the worse, Just remember it sometimes "just" happens. And never believe that it can't happen to you. We Love, We Lose, We Live, We Die, It happens...

A Sun Rising

I wrote my feelings down one friday, and this is what I came up with. Sorry it goes from topic to topic.

This is the first morning I've seen the sun rise completely, and I'm only watching it from the west. I've stayed up all night to see this event, and it's beautiful. Isn't it amazing how something so natural, and simple can be so breathtaking? how simply watching the sun rise in symbolic meaning to beginning a new day, can change your mood so quickly and drastically. i feel born again unto this day. for i enjoy, I know it shalt not last but this one day. For tomorrow I shall miss what beauty it is.

Why is it that experiencing the sun rising gives inspiration to us. Inspiratioin to write, to sing, to dance, to live. not only does it inspire, it brings meaning. Meaning that we simply overlook. We overlook it due to the fact taht you have to appreciate, and actually look at something to comprehend it. To think about it deeply. Anyone, for instance, cna wake up and glance at the sun rising, but if you can sit down, breathe, and be captivated by the mixture of the colors, the glow the spreads out onto the city, with each passing second, and actually relax and see waht a difference it's made, then you truly understand the meaning. you didn't overlook it like some others. Pretty soon you'll feel a change in attitude, a change in thought, and a change in heart.

With all the stresses in todays world, we lose track of what is really important to us. I'm not just talking about our family, or friends, even though we lose track of them too. (lol) We never remember to think about our other side. The other side that wants to be creative, free, relaxed. It's completely natural to be blind to beauty that is laced in front of us everyday. We wouldn't be human if we didn't. haha. You know that statement "Your heart is as dark as your soul"? That's not true for anyone of us. I should know, I'm one of those people who hears this statement very often. But what people don't really understand is our souls are not dark, but pulled into the shadows of remembrance. I personally worry about everyone else around me, more than myself. This is a flaw of mine, but it makes people think that I don't care at all. Because I forget to take care of myself and how I feel, I had no idea how much it affected those around me, and how it affected my attitude and my perspective on things. People would call me dark, and how I have no soul because my emotions bottle up and go swirling around me. this happens to some of us as well. once we learn to correct and improve our flaws over time, we will all feel the beginning of a new day, and a new life. For we will be able to look at something and understand the true nature of it, and its purpose. Beauty and Inspiration come in many forms, ideas, and ways. But one way that will always be there for every person willing to understand a new meaning is by simply watching the sun rise. just remember to relax, breathe, and let beauty take its toll on our souls.

Not Your Boyfriend But Sleeping With Him?

A man can feel a certain level of attraction for you
that will have him act loving, but is only as deep
as him knowing that he wants to get physical
with you.

It's another kind of attraction altogether for a
man to want a long-term relationship with you.

Do you know what it is that a woman can do that
makes the difference?

Do you know how to trigger the kind of attraction
that gets a man to naturally open up, share
himself and think about the future with you?

I'm not talking about purely physical attraction,
or the kind that makes a man want to BE physical
with you.

You know, like the kind of "attraction" that makes
a man want just a casual fling... or a Friends With
Benefits situation only.

No, I'm talking about the kind of Intellectual and
Emotional Attraction that makes a man want to be
around you... and want to have you in his life for
the long-term.

I'm talking about the kind of attraction that
makes him think about you all the time. The kind
that makes his heart leap whenever he remembers
the times he spent with you.

Here's a secret about creating that kind of
feeling inside a man:

It's completely possible to do or say certain
things that will turn on that magic switch inside
a man's mind that will make him sit up and take
notice. That will make him emotionally attracted
to you.

At the same time, there are ways to KILL any
chance of that kind of attraction...and these are
common mistakes that many women carelessly make
(especially when they are really INTO a guy).

                       Christian Carter

Regret

 Regret is such a multi meaning word. It's also a word that comes with a lot of pain, depression, and sense of insecurity. But what does it actually mean? The dictionary's definition is that it's a feeling of sorrow, or remorse for a disappointment. Most of us just say it's something we wish we could take back. But what we have yet to realize is that we can't. No matter how much we wish or want, we simply can't. So we learn to hide it, or try to deal with it, but how many of us succeed at it? What ways have we tried? Crying, Cutting, Stuffing it in a bottle til we explode? What we need to do is talk about it, to someone we trust, or to a complete stranger. Regret is an emotion that has been proven to be one of the top things that causes manic depression. We can work through this together. The best thing is to remember you can't change the past, but you can do the right thing in the future 

My Sexuality?

      Sexuality.  Did you know sexuality is one of the biggest controversial issues today? It is. Everybody is so worried about what other people are. There are 5 different types of sexuality, that i personally know about: straight (everyone knows this one, where one sex is ONLY attracted to the opposite), Lesbian (where one female is attracted to another female), Gay (where one male is attracted to anohter male), Bisexual (where one sex is attracted to not only the opposite but the same), and Transgender ( i can really only explain this in an example: say your a man, you have all the body parts of a male, but inside you heart and soul, you feel as if you should have been born a woman).
      Personally, I'm bisexual. My mom knows it and most of my family knows it. Most people ask me how do I know I'm bisexual. My first thought is how did I not know? I mean seriously. Then I understood everybody was raised differently. My sexuality was always something I knew. It's the experience of embracing it. I tried denying it, but the harder I fought, the clearer I realized it. I accepted it. It took me awhile to come out and tell everyone else about it, cause I was so scared of losing famliy, and friends. And I did. I've learned to deal with it. And it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
       But it's something you can't help. No matter what other people say or try to convince you, what you believe counts most. 
      If it's up to you, your probably thinking then why does everybody keep trying to convince you it's wrong. Most people do think its wrong, cause of the way they were raised. And most of it is the religion they were raised with. They say how God doesn't want you to be gay, or whatever sexuality you are. If that were true, then why does God say he will love us no matter what our sins are?
     Coming out of the closet or whatever term is used today is usually the most difficult, I have a lot of friends who have told me they are a sexuality other than straight but they won't come out because their afraid of how society will react. This is understandable. But once you come out, you will feel so free. And if you lose friends and family over your decision then maybe it was for the best. There are others out there like you that will care for you without you having to be something your not.
     I don't understand why people see not being straight such a drama. It's our choice. It's Love no matter who its with. True love will doesn't matter on your sexuality, but what your believe.
       
        

"Mom I'm Having A Baby"

      For most women expecting, this is one of the best phrases they can possibly say. But what if your a teenager? It's not so great then. Or at least thats what you first think.
       Teenage pregnancy is one of the major controversial issues in todays society. Why is this? Most people believe that you shouldn't act on sexual feelings until marriage. That not always happens. Personally, I believe that as long as you believe you love that person, then your feelings and actions are your own. But why are teens so afraid to tell their secret. It's important to tell either your parents or at least someone you can trust. Although your parents would be best. You can choose to either keep the baby, and love them, and raise them despite the actions that led up to it. You can choose adoption, to allow another family the joy and privilege of raising your child. Or there's abortion. Which is a choice removing the situation from you (literally). No matter what anyone tells you, or tries to convince you, the choice is completely up to you. No one else can decide for you no matter how badly you wish they could.
       Most teens who get pregnant, are so scared. Their not really afraid of the situation, it's the reaction of their parents/family/friends that scare them. Sometimes these reactions are the reasons they can't choose the choice they really want.
        A mother and father have every right to watch over their "baby girl". They blame theirselves. And their just as scared as the teens. It's alright to be scared or worried. But what your daughter needs is for you to support her, and love her no matter what, so she can decide what is best to do. 
        To all the pregnant teens in todays world. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Don't worry about what others think or what they will do. You have another life growing inside you that you are responsible for. Hopefully you will love the child no matter what. But whatever decision you make, we all have our reasons, even if others don't understand at the time. Tell your parents if you find yourself pregnant. They will still love you all the same, Forgiveness will come. Whatever your situation is, you know best.
       If you don't want to be in this situation of choosing for you and a baby. Then the answer is simple. Either wait for marriage, or use protection always. It not only helps protect teenage or unwanted pregnancies, but it also protects against STDs.
               The Choice Is Up To You, No One Else
                      Angel